About The Only Question That Matters by JL Peridot:

“Do I call this love already? I am almost disgusted with myself. How pathetic to fall so easily. Perhaps I was the cause of my past heartbreaks. Not stupid schoolboys or an arrogant rich man, but a gullible girl from a flower farm who opens her heart too readily and expects too much.”

Sofia is en route to Planet Paradiso, ready to start a new life after her divorce. But after she accepts Alexei’s dinner invitation on her final evening, she realises she’s in for more than she bargained for. As the AMS Celestial Dream arrives at its destination, and their one-night stand draws to a close, Sofia must choose between a newfound possibility with Alexei and the freedom she so desperately craves.

The Only Question That Matters is an emotional examination of healing and resilience through sex and love.

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EXCERPT:

I am alive where he touches me. The small of my back when we dance. My hips and elbow when the music changes and we leave the starboard-side cabana. My shoulder as we walk through the carpeted corridor outside. We separate with designs on a swim on the port side.

The walk back to my cabin is cold, and the cabin no warmer when I enter. I chose a modest room with a single bed on purpose, to avoid the temptation to share my space. After all these years, it has become automatic. This cabin is enough to get me to Paradiso. But now, standing inside alone and only half-dressed, it feels like a tomb.

The third boy who broke my heart was my husband, Sholto. He was the only child of a mining mogul, but even as he waited for his inheritance, he had money. He made his own wealth as a motivational speaker. I was in my final year of college when we met. My campus was the final stop on his tour. I had no idea who he was, but he introduced himself in a bar and handed me a cocktail. It was my favourite—I called it a lucky coincidence; he insisted it was fate.

He was a few years older, tall and positive. He knew what he wanted, and he wanted me. Me, a lonely girl from Romulus. Can you see how easy it was to fall in love?

In the mirror, my reflection inspects my body. My breasts, my arms, my belly, my thighs—they were the moon and the stars before we got married. But afterward, they were somehow not enough. And yet, still somehow too much. Which one depended on the mood, the joke being told, the argument at hand. Perhaps I chose a tomb aboard this ship because I am used to feeling dead.

No, I cannot keep thinking this way. I’m here now. Finally free to think better thoughts.

I change into my bikini. It’s far too sexy, and I made sure not to bring any other, to avoid the temptation to live too modestly now. My skin is raw from the cold and the anticipation—I embrace it. I cover up with light leisure clothing and leave the cabin.

Alexei waits for me at the end of the corridor. He has changed out of his suit but wears the same inviting smile, confident poise, and mischievous look in his eyes. I hurry toward him, eager to feel alive again.

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