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Number Eight Crispy Chicken by Sarah Neofield

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About Number Eight Crispy Chicken by Sarah Neofield:

The immigration minister has been detained.
Minister for Asylum Deterrence and Foreign Investment, Peter Ruddick, is en route to the remote Pulcherrima Island, the site of his latest privately-run, fast food chain-inspired detention centre. But chaos ensues when Peter misses his connecting flight and finds himself confined to the visa-free zone of the Turgrael airport, without a business lounge in sight.

Stranded in a foreign territory with nothing but McKing’s Crispy Chicken burgers to eat and nobody but a bleeding heart liberal, his seat-mate Jeremy Bernard for company, Peter’s misunderstandings of Turgistani language and culture result in his arrest on suspicion of terrorism, perversion, and espionage. Peter has always had the power to get away with just about anything, but how will he sweet talk his way out of this one? What if he winds up – like those in his centres – indefinitely detained?
‘Hilarious’ and ‘powerful’, Number Eight Crispy Chicken is a carefully researched, funny, and thought-provoking read for fans of the social novels of Tressell, Orwell, Dickens, and Vonnegut.

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I Never Lied to You

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About I Never Lied to You:

The search for love unleashes all forces in the Universe

Peter is a highly intelligent man who knows his priorities and has plans for everything. Or how his sister Barbara would put it “a nerdy skeptical control freak with android tendencies”. When his girlfriend leaves him accusing him of being too stiff and dull, Peter accepts Barbara`s challenge – to be guided for 30 days by her astrologer`s “cosmic wisdom”. Determined to prove each other wrong, no matter how crazy the things will get, they discover that not everything is what it seems, including themselves and their close ones.

I Never Lied to You (well, almost) is a feel-good romantic comedy about one nerdy misfit and his creative sister who are trying to find love, sense and each other using their own peculiar ways. With unexpected twists and lots of laughs, this story is a truly hilarious joyride.

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Dick Wiener Must Die!: A Story Of Redemption by Luther Banks

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About Dick Wiener Must Die!: A Story Of Redemption by Luther Banks:

Explosive thriller! Irreverent comedy! Mild-mannered toilet company executive Richard Wiener faces a high-stakes race against time to stop a world altering calamity, but things aren’t what they seem in this bats**t crazy adventure. Soon, Dick Wiener and his band of misfits confront the ultimate twist: is the bumbling Dick Wiener actually humanity’s greatest threat? Past and future collide with unexpectedly hilarious results as an unfortunately-named anti-hero must choose whether to save the world… or to save himself. Find out if humanity or Dick Wiener survives… Read this one-of-a-kind page-turner.

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JOKES : Collection of Best Jokes and Funny Short Stories

About JOKES : Collection of Best Jokes and Funny Short Stories:

In life the best ornament is humility; the richest wealth is wisdom; the strongest weapon is patience; the best security is faith; the best mental tonic is laughter. Live well, laugh often, love much and share God’s blessings. We all know that laughter is the best medicine, and this is true, Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert.

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Girth by Alex Henderson

About Girth by Alex Henderson:

Size matters. Or at least it does to Ed, nit-picking quantity surveyor and captain of his local pub football team who has faked a business trip abroad to get some cheap plastic surgery.
Ed intends to be even more of a man upon his return. But has he managed to keep this as secret as he thinks? Will this really be such a wonderful surprise for Fiona on their wedding night? And just who is this operation for anyway?
Alex Henderson’s outrageous comedy debut shows what it means to be a man with a small problem that just got bigger.
Much bigger!

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Single and Catless by Kaylee Gryba

About Single and Catless by Kaylee Gryba:

33 Ways to Fail at Dating and One Huge Lesson

After a decade of failed first dates, an endless supply of players, a few cougar moments, and a humiliating rejection from the massage therapist working on her butt, Canadian model and Pass the Hat Comedian, Kaylee Gryba, reveals the surprising reasons she’s still single at 30.

And no, that doesn’t include a restraining order. Good guess though!

With spite, sarcasm, and truly twisted stories, Single and Catless is the ultimate what-not-to-do confessional of a woman who has made EVERY mistake you can think of.

If you’ve been single forever or you’re single again, Kaylee’s got your back, with a few helpful warnings about The Lazy Player, The Bottom-Feeder, The Obvious Jerk, and all the other ONEs Disguised as THE ONE.

She’ll show you:

*How to deal with breakups when all your friends are blissfully in love and coughing out babies.

*How to spot a Player. Every. Single. Time.

*And why playing games like “Hard to Get” never seems to work for you.

Hint: You can’t pretend to be busy if he knows you never leave your house. Sigh!

She’ll help you stop freaking out if you’re stiiillllll flying solo, put an end to self sabotage, and let you know her ONE, most shocking discovery about dating . . . that has nothing to do with dating.

Single and Catless is one part memoir, one part self help book; a game-changer and a riot to read. If you’re ready to learn everything she’s learned from dating everyone, then read on, you sassy little minx.

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Numan Versus Numan

About Numan Versus Numan:

Having been blown away by seeing Gary Numan perform on Top of The Pops in 1979, Five went out and put an ad in the paper to form a tribute band. He named it ‘The Romford Bombers’. They soon went on to dominate the annual Essex battle of the Gary Numan tribute bands. Until last year that is, when ‘The Storm Troopers’ came out of nowhere and stole their crown.

The Bombers’ 56-year-old lead singer will do whatever it takes to win it back. He also has reason to believe The Storm Troopers are pursuing a hidden agenda, and he’s determined to get to the bottom of it.

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How I Met Your Mother Trivia Night: Fun Facts Quiz

How I Met Your Mother Trivia Night- Fun Facts QuizAbout How I Met Your Mother Trivia Night: Fun Facts Quiz:

The book not only challenges your HIMYM fandom but helps you relive all the funny moments of the show through the questions. Questions are meticulously designed to make this fun for the reader. A perfect book for Trivia Nights and Pub Quizzes.

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How I Met Your Mother Trivia Night: Fun Facts Quiz

How I Met Your Mother Trivia Night- Fun Facts QuizAbout How I Met Your Mother Trivia Night: Fun Facts Quiz:

The book not only challenges your HIMYM fandom but helps you relive all the funny moments of the show through the questions. Questions are meticulously designed to make this fun for the reader. A perfect book for Trivia Nights and Pub Quizzes.

Buy the book, and follow the author on social media:
Buy the Book On Amazon.
[Read more…]

How I Met Your Mother Trivia Night: Fun Facts Quiz

About How I Met Your Mother Trivia Night: Fun Facts Quiz:

The book not only challenges your HIMYM fandom but helps you relive all the funny moments of the show through the questions. Questions are meticulously designed to make this fun for the reader. A perfect book for Trivia Nights and Pub Quizzes.

Buy the book, and follow the author on social media:
Buy the Book On Amazon.
[Read more…]

The Candidate in the Rye by John Marquane

About The Candidate in the Rye by John Marquane:

One day not too long ago, John Marquane, a writer for the Harvard Lampoon, noticed that The Catcher In The Rye, seminal coming-of-age story for budding jerks everywhere, was actually written in the voice of one Donald J. Trump.’

The Candidate In The Rye parodies this controversial and often-banned masterpiece, reimagining it through the eyes of the Republican nominee as he lags in those dirty, terrible polls with three days to go before the election. Follow America’s least phony candidate as he runs away from his running mate, Pencey, puts on one of literature’s greatest symbols (his red MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN hat), and embarks on a quest to figure out just what the hell’s the point of all this political crap anyway.

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Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson

About Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson:

Things aren’t going so well for elderly widower Mitch.
His daughter thinks he’s rushed himself into a residential dementia centre before he becomes a burden upon her. In truth he’s more worried that if he doesn’t lock himself away then the secrets of his past will get out.
The care home could be a whole lot nicer, but it’s all he can afford and, anyway, Mitch is determined. He’s sold his house and signed his freedom away. Let them take care of him for the muddled remainder of his days.
Except that he’s not really in need of a place like this yet. And far worse – his former best friend and old band mate Ray is already here.
The last person he’d ever want to be trapped with.
Especially since the secrets are about him.
With a cast of vivid characters who will shock and delight in equal measure, Alex Henderson’s latest is a poignant and darkly hilarious tale of friendship, regret and the need to squeeze the juice out of every day we’re given.

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Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson

About Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson:

Things aren’t going so well for elderly widower Mitch.
His daughter thinks he’s rushed himself into a residential dementia centre before he becomes a burden upon her. In truth he’s more worried that if he doesn’t lock himself away then the secrets of his past will get out.
The care home could be a whole lot nicer, but it’s all he can afford and, anyway, Mitch is determined. He’s sold his house and signed his freedom away. Let them take care of him for the muddled remainder of his days.
Except that he’s not really in need of a place like this yet. And far worse – his former best friend and old band mate Ray is already here.
The last person he’d ever want to be trapped with.
Especially since the secrets are about him.
With a cast of vivid characters who will shock and delight in equal measure, Alex Henderson’s latest is a poignant and darkly hilarious tale of friendship, regret and the need to squeeze the juice out of every day we’re given.

Buy the book, and follow the author on social media:
Buy the Book On Amazon.
Visit the Twitter page.

[Read more…]

The Courageous Fantastic Heroic Valiant Mighty Sensational Gallant (and Hypoallergenic) Rubberband Boy: Part A by Jonathan Neuman

About The Courageous Fantastic Heroic Valiant Mighty Sensational Gallant (and Hypoallergenic) Rubberband Boy: Part A by Jonathan Neuman:

“The point is this: the enemy is real, and he is upon us! He has come to conquer us! He has come to vanquish us! He has come to take our women, to take our children—”
“We don’t have women!”
“Or children!”
“… He has come to storm our castles, to pillage our keeps!” John continued. “He intends to slaughter our livestock! To burn our houses to the ground—”
“We’re in fifth grade, none of us own houses!”

It has been months since John and Dave have heard from the secret government agency known as the Division Opposing and Obstructing Diabolical Insidious Evil (a.k.a. D.O.O.D.I.E.). So, what are two fledgling heroes to do to pass the time? How about a nice leisurely class trip to the park?
Wait, did we say leisurely? Hahahaha! And boy, have they stepped in it this time. For this is no ordinary walk in the park. This is the Contest of Classes!, the contest to end all contests and determine which fifth grade class reigns supreme! Ohrno Elementary will have the battle of its life on its hands, as John and Dave try to match wits, strength, and more than a little bit of luck against Ohryeah Elementary and its leaders, the fearsome Bully Bros.—three neanderthalic meanies who may be something more than they appear. As things go from bad to worse, will John regain the resolve that made him Rubberband Boy in the first place, or will he lose it all? Rubberband Boy finally returns with more laughs and adventure than you can handle! Oh yes, and mucus. Lots and lots of mucus. Because Dave has allergies. And no more tissues.

Available in digital and print now on Amazon! The book will be available for free download on 12/25/19-12/26/19 and 1/1/20-1/2/20!

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The Office Trivia Book: Over 1,000 Trivia Questions! By Christen Holly

About The Office Trivia Book: Over 1,000 Trivia Questions! By Christen Holly:

What color is Prison Mike’s bandana? How did the bird in Season 3 die? What year is Dwight’s car? Have you had it with easy Office trivia questions? Are you looking for a trivia book that will actually challenge your Office knowledge? The Office Trivia Book has over 1,000 challenging and fun questions. Test your Office knowledge with questions from Season 1 to Season 9. There are also bonus questions! This book will challenge the most dedicated Office fans, as well as new fans. The Office Trivia Book will always leave you feeling satisfied. That’s what she said.

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Merry Friggin’ Christmas: An Edgy Christmas Comedy

About Merry Friggin’ Christmas: An Edgy Christmas Comedy:

2019 Illumination Book Awards Bronze Medal Winner!

The perfect gift for that Bah-humbug! in your life!
Merry Friggin’ Christmas
An Edgy Christmas Comedy

“A funny book about Christmas and a dead comedy man…”

“…takes the cake as the best of the holiday season. It has charisma, a fantastic voice, and it was funny as all hell.”

“A fresh and funny take on the holidays…”

Based on The Life of Carlton St. Michael, the NUMBER ONE TOP RATED show on the URN!

So, who is Carlton St. Michael?

Carlton St. Michael is an up-and-coming atheist stand-up comic on the verge of fame and fortune. The only problem is, he’s dead. Actually, twice dead. Caught dead in Jersey. Twice.

And, his life story has become the number one top-rated show on the Undying Rerun Network (URN).

A Christmas Comedy, of all things.

But Carlton isn’t buying any of it. He’s out to prove it’s all some near-death hallucination that will fade to black when he really dies, or vanish when he awakes.

So, are you dying to see how this story turns out? Well, that’s the only way to see it on the URN. You have to die first. But Carlton has written it all down for you, so you can enjoy it without venturing beyond the veil.

Even if you are dying to enjoy Carlton’s story, you need not go that far. You can get the EBook, NOW!

Warning: Merry Friggin’ Christmas is a Christmas Comedy for Adults and is too edgy for children under age 13.

Check out some reviews from some imaginary people:

“This book surprised me. I kept thinking I knew where it was going, and it ended up somewhere else. I wish I did not have to be dead to see it on the URN.”
Misty Fication

“I bought this book because there are elves on the cover. I love elves. The book was so good that I didn’t even realize there were no elves in the story until the end, and it didn’t matter to me at all.”
Sylvaniel the Elven Princess

“I can’t tell you why I loved this book without spoiling the ending. So, let’s just say that I loved it, because of the ending.”
John Q. Endingliker

Comes also in a Naughty Edition (includes more colorful language that most nice people prefer not to read, but if you’re on the naughty list, you may like it.)

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We Have Lost The Coffee

About We Have Lost The Coffee:

This steaming-hot, comedy mystery set in 2040s London is brimming with great British humor, smart satire, crazy characters & wry observations on life, the universe and espressos. Starring downtrodden presidential spokesman Howie Pond and his journalist girlfriend Britt, it’s guaranteed to keep you awake past bedtime. Grab it to go now!

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A Grave Misunderstanding

About A Grave Misunderstanding:

Winner of a 2018 PenCraft Award for Literary Excellence and a Finalist in the 2018 American Fiction Awards.

Murder has come once more to the seaside town of Crab Cove, testing the mettle of “almost handsome” Detective Simon Grave and his “nearly invisible” partner, Sergeant Barry Blunt, who investigate a locked-room mystery with a significant twist: the prime suspects are in the locked room, not the victim, a logic-defying situation that challenges the team at every turn.

As if murder weren’t enough, they must also investigate the simultaneous disappearance of The MacGuffin Trophy from that same locked room, the studio of artist Whitney Waters, famous for her stylized paintings of red herrings.

Who is/are the killer(s)? How did he/she/they get out of the locked room with the trophy, kill the victim, and return unnoticed by others in the room? These and other questions, including the limits of logic and the meaning of life, are posed and perhaps even answered in this quirky, near-future mystery.

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In Your Dreams

About In Your Dreams:

A guy, a girl, and a pair of handcuffs. What could possibly go wrong?

In this college humor, coming-of-age tale, everything.

Seniors, Collin and Jess, wake up handcuffed the morning after a wild party. Collin is bound for work, Jess bound for a Shakespeare final. If Collin doesn’t show, he’ll lose a chance at a big promotion. If Jess doesn’t show, she’ll lose her chance to be a school teacher. Then there’s the fact she rejected him freshman year. They haven’t spoken a word since. Not awkward at all.

Told in alternating first person with hints of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, In Your Dreams finds boy and girl struggling to adult on the last day of finals week and trying to survive each other.

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