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Novak: A Standalone Romantic Comedy Novel

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About Novak: A Standalone Romantic Comedy Novel:

Belly laugh your way to shredded abs with Novak, a standalone romantic comedy novel about a Slovenian shepherd searching for love in California, inspired by modern classics like Borat and There’s Something about Mary.

After a string of disastrous dates, Mary concludes that Solvang, California, is full of freaks and nutjobs. So she heeds her friend’s advice and signs up to a dating site. One dreamy man of mystery catches her eye: a hotshot special agent named Tristan Drimov.

Meanwhile, Novak, a smalltime shepherd in Slovenia, learns a brutal lesson when his wife cheats on him with the most notorious herder in town. His life in shambles, Novak has no one to turn to but his estranged grandfather, Oleg. The unorthodox old life coach quickly helps his grandson’s life go from bad to dreadful.

Looking for love and a sliver of hope, Novak signs up to a dating site. He meets Mary and they instantly hit it off. Finally, their luck is changing … for the worse. Unbeknownst to them, privacy has been compromised and they’re about to be pitted against the scheming adult film producer Mary was once married to, as well as a desperate actor who looks just like Tristan Drimov. The juvenile son of Mary and her ex is also drawn into the tangle.

In a world that’s churning out false truths and absurd role models, Novak is the hilarious, heartwarming story about finding love and keeping it. Like love, Novak knows no bounds.

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Shrink Unwrapped By Joel L. Schwartz

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About Shrink Unwrapped By Joel L. Schwartz:

To treat patients using psychoanalysis, psychiatrists must first undergo their own analysis. And Dr. Jacob Fink plans to coast through his own stint on the shrink’s couch as quickly as possible. After all, there’s nothing wrong with him! But soon, his forty‑five minute sessions unearth long‑buried struggles that are both profound and profane.

Can a three‑year‑old who was unable to sit still on his carpet square in nursery school and constantly joked his way through his schooling ever be successful in life?

Can listening to a weather forecast be dangerous to your health?

Can a boy get a venereal disease just by thinking about girls?

How can you get fresh semen stains out of white linen pants and beat a traffic ticket?

Jacob is on his way to a breakthrough when something unthinkable happens and he now has to dig deep to unwrap the last of his inner struggles and finally grow into the therapist he knows he can be.

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Greetings From Way Down Deep! condensed version 2019 by John D. Partin

About Greetings From Way Down Deep! condensed version 2019 by John D. Partin:

Satanic humor, poetry, essays, and fantasies. A parody of The Diary of Vaslav Nijinsky, an unorthodox view of the life of Jesus, a take on commercial travel, and dark satires of Lovecraft and a crazy woman.

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Fresh off the Starship by Ann Crawford

About Fresh off the Starship by Ann Crawford:

Award finalist! A starbeing aimed to land in Washington, DC, where she could’ve helped humanity on a grand geopolitical scale, but ends up in… Kansas! Wrong place, right time? Laugh through and be inspired by this fun, feel-good – yet also deeply profound, moving, and fascinating – tale that reminds us how truly awesome this being-a-human thing is.

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MASTUPORT

About MASTUPORT:

MASTUPORT is a dark comedy about the only portable device capable of giving pleasure to men, without anyone noticing. Setting an end to the traditional way of conceptual masturbation in private by shaping and shifting the experience into the open world, the book explores the social repercussions if such a device is presented onto society. The device gets introduced by the Founder who portrays it as the right remedy for spicing up a dull experience repeated over and over again in a cyclic boredom. The device manages to reach the market but gets strong opposition from a Preacher who is convinced that it is a sign of deviancy obscuring people’s minds by leading them towards the gates of shame and immorality. Being certain that god himself has given him a sign to stop this madness, he takes action by mobilising massive groups and advocating in a divine plan that the purity of life consists in getting rid of this device. What follows is a constant battle of ideologies, strange riots, reactions and counter reactions, culminating into a surprising unexpected ending. Read the complete first chapter at www.mastuport.com

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Aunt Lucie’s legacy

About Aunt Lucie’s legacy:

Aunt Lucie is a real pain in the neck. Although she wasn’t exactly a saint while she was alive, now that she’s dead, she surpasses herself in making life miserable for her family. Her testament is crystal clear: to collect the inheritance, her nephews and their families have to move into her house, which is definitely not a palace! Aunt Lucie has another surprise up her sleeve, a sort of mad treasure hunt, ankle-deep in mud. Welcome to rural France! What’s certain is that her dear nephews are not about to get bored as they get caught in an unforgettable adventure in the heart of the Béarn. How far will they go to get their hands on the jackpot? Comical situations, flavorsome dialog and dramatic turns of events come fast and furious, masterfully orchestrated by dear Aunt Lucie. The climax could only be astonishing.
“Aunt Lucie’s legacy” was applauded with publication by Club France Loisirs (France’s number one book club), acclaimed a jury favorite at the Livre d’Orthez book fair in 2010, selected for the “Fnac’s digital pearls” in March 2014.
This comedy stayed in Amazon, Kobo and the Fnac Top 100 for several months on the French market.

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Kilmore Trout: A Satitical Tribute to Kurt Vonnegut

About Kilmore Trout: A Satitical Tribute to Kurt Vonnegut:

A satirical tribute to Kurt Vonnegut, where a strain of steelhead, a fisherman, Kurt Vonnegut and Kilgore Trout cross paths over multiple generations of Sandy River Steelhead. Kilmore Trout was destined to be a fisherman. But Kilmore would also have a very important impact on Vonnegut’s life. Even Vonnegut’s writings come into play throughout this story. How do the characters from Breakfast of Champions and Slaughterhouse five cross paths with Kilmore Trout. And finally, there is the question of the ring, and what happens with it. This story is written in a Vonnegut fashion that should delight the reader.

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Rich Guys Get More B*** Jobs

About Rich Guys Get More B*** Jobs:

** FREE thru 4/4/19. Get your free copy today! **

What guy doesn’t like a good Blow Job??? If there is one, I haven’t met him yet.

And truthfully, for both men and women, who’s getting as much sex as they’d like in their life? What’s keeping you from it? Violet has the answer!

Violet Pennington’s hilarious new relationship, sex and almost career counseling book, “Rich Guys Get More Blow Jobs”, delivers a unique perspective on why the average man (and woman) can’t get all the satisfaction they would like.

Full of entertaining real-life stories, it’s a quick but must read book for both men and the women who love them.

Violet identifies the Top 5 BLOW JOB THIEVES in a way that will keep you laughing and nodding in agreement at the same time.

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BAKED OFF!

About BAKED OFF!:

This hilarious British comedy is jam-packed with cake, romance and revenge. A baking show spoof that will have you in stitches.

Cake and scandal – is there a better combo?

Producer Mary Summers doesn’t think so. She knows what the British public crave, and it isn’t limp biscuits and soggy bottoms. She plans on serving them up a nice big dollop of drama this year on UKTV’s hit program, The Spectacular Baking Show. Her line up of oddballs and crooks that make up this season’s contestants are sure to send sparks flying.

Meet the beautiful and glamorous Annabel White, designer to the stars. Her cakes are rich, and her men are richer. She has it all – that is until fellow contestant mogul Jack Walters sets his sights on her and will stop at nothing to have his way, even if it means destroying her life in the process.

Lydia barker can’t stand toffs. She’s a woman with a cause and plans on making the Baking Show her soapbox, much to the dismay of disillusioned director David Fearn, who’s ready to pack it all in and run off into the French countryside.

Throw in a socially awkward teenager, a downtrodden housewife, a gerontophobic retirement home nurse and bad egg or two, and you have a recipe for disaster.
Indulge in plenty of delicious shenanigans as the contestants attempt to bake their way to a perfectly golden-brown victory in the tent, employing dirty tricks, phycological mind games and a whole lot of buttercream.
Baked off! is a light-hearted, terribly British comedy that will keep you chuckling throughout.

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The Teleporter by Lee Hall

About The Teleporter by Lee Hall:

What if there was a power like no other? What if one drunken slouch happened to stumble where nobody has stumbled before and discovered the ability to teleport!
Kurt Wiseman is your average mid-twenties slouch with a serial thirst for alcohol, that is until destiny calls upon him to stumble where no man has clumsily stumbled before. Whilst investigating a politically loaded story arc Kurt accidentally acquires a super power like no other. The ability to teleport!
Before he can think about saving the day, Wiseman must endure a journey of self-reflection by earning the trust of his friends and overcoming his greatest weakness, booze. Even if the path is filled with comic book cliché, inappropriate one liners and genre busting fourth wall action.
Kurt Wiseman is the Teleporter!

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My Crazy (Sick) Love

About My Crazy (Sick) Love:

Amanda Loeb is a single, intelligent New York City attorney coming up on the eve of her thirtieth birthday. With a stable job, circle of supportive friends, and close relationships with her mother and sister one detail sets Amanda apart from others – she is a hypochondriac. Her medicine cabinet is home to a stock of medications sourced from an actively managed A-Z list of the best doctors in New York City. When Amanda meets Brian Marshall, a handsome and charismatic restaurant owner, her heart beats in undiagnosable somersaults. As their relationship develops Amanda learns the intricacies and complications love brings may be the cure-all ‘pill’ she needs to free herself from the affliction – for the rest of her life.

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Today is for THE BOYS Vol. 1 “You’re welcome” By Nick Beck

About Today is for THE BOYS Vol. 1 “You’re welcome” By Nick Beck:

Do whatever YOU want! Don’t tell ME what to do!

These rules have been my guides throughout life. I have learned a lot from this roadmap to ultimate success. This book is the beginning of a series of books to get you through everyday situations. Simple, yet profound solutions to finishing on top.
We all have our own stories to tell. Each unique and held back for fear of consequence. As individuals, our paths are understood by ourselves alone. Since we don’t know other’s stories, we don’t judge.
I have been given advice from someone very wise, and very hidden. This person has helped me find my true passion and run with it. If you have not figured it out yet….. It’s THE BOYS!!!

I recently found out that there is a saying “Saturdays are for the boys.” I had never heard that before and I’m sure it correlates with my selective hearing. The ones that started this are forever saints, and I cannot thank enough. They have lead us this far, and it is extremely noteworthy. I can’t wait to meet and thank them, but also inform them that we are evolving. Now, everyday is for THE BOYS. Ever since I turned 6 months old, and had the most boring Memorial Day experience ever, I knew it was time to round up MY BOYS!! The universe was listening and visualizing worked to perfection. A week later my pack started to form, and has never looked back. That was 34 years ago. From day 1 it was for THE BOYS everyday, always, no matter what. That is why I wrote this book, and continue to write each new chapter. I found my passion, know my passion, and embrace my passion. It all boils down to hanging out with THE BOYS!

This is all meant to be in good fun! I have had a great time writing this, but please take it as entertainment. Find your true passion and run with it. Reach out to me with ideas and I will respond. Starting from the bottom….. I will remain open and honest to those who reach out. Let it all out and we’ll have a good time. For now, enjoy!

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Would You Rather Game Book

About Would You Rather Game Book:

Are you in need for fun and interesting for kids?
This awesome book, packed with hilarious and thought-provoking scenarios, is a perfect solution for kids parties, family game or car trip rides.

Kids love “Would You Rather” questions because they appeal to their sense of adventure and are silly.
Watching them trying to find the solution will be hilarious!
The only rule that cannot be broken is that of having fun!
So, welcome to the “Would you rather…?” world!

Have a nice game!

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LIFE LESSONS FROM INDIA-A WOMAN’S MEMOIR

About LIFE LESSONS FROM INDIA-A WOMAN’S MEMOIR:

Only a woman can find the true meaning of life.
In this thoughtful and illuminating collection of essays, author Hemalatha Gnanasekar recalls the most consequential experiences of her life as a woman in India.
These 16 thought-provoking essays are drawn directly from her own life, but their universal themes will inspire people of all backgrounds to find the deeper meaning in their lives as well.
A chance meeting with a former teacher helped her understand that wrinkles and weight gain are a natural part of life. A Hindu religious ceremony’s compelling feats of faith led her towards a greater relationship with God. And an encounter with vagabond gypsies helped her understand the true power of health over materialism.
These and other life-changing stories are beautifully presented in this collection of life lessons. Told through the unique perspective of a woman in a society that still struggles with its treatment of them, these essays are full of hope, optimism and humor. And while they may be read in a short amount of time… their lessons will last forever.

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Dickhead: Stupid things men do with their ‘Little Head’ by Violet Pennington

About Dickhead: Stupid things men do with their ‘Little Head’ by Violet Pennington:

Men do stupid things. With their Penises.

How stupid you ask?

So stupid they might end up in jail?

So stupid they might end up in the hospital?

So stupid they might end up in the unemployment line?

Yes, Yes, and YES!

Violet Pennington brings you true and funny stories about the crazy things men have let their penises talk them into. You’ll laugh, you’ll wince, and you’ll learn just how much men will pay for a little sex. In short, more than you or they ever imagined!

Buy your copy TODAY to see just how much trouble a man can find himself in when listening to his ‘Little Head’. This is sexy humor for both men and women alike.

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How to Win Girlfriends and Dominate People (Self-Help Parody) by Ronnie Champ

About How to Win Girlfriends and Dominate People (Self-Help Parody) by Ronnie Champ:

If Ignatius Reilly (from A Confederacy of Dunces) and Ron Swanson (from Parks and Recreation) got together and co-wrote a self-help parody full of absurd humor about relationships and sex, the result would be something like this hilarious book by Ronnie Champ.

In How to Win Girlfriends and Dominate People, self-help guru Ronnie Champ shares stories from his own life to show you:
* How to use the Seven Habits of Highly Dominant People in the bathroom, so that you will always have your sh*t together;
* How to leverage the Law of Attraction to turn the entire Universe into your personal genie and sex slave, so that you can get all the lucky breaks and all the freaky hoes;
* How to walk into any brothel in the world and get a girlfriend with only $117 in counterfeit money;
* And much, much more!

If you’re looking for a good time, don’t call the number on the bathroom wall! Read this hilarious self-help parody by Ronnie Champ. This funny book may not change your relationships, but it will entertain you and make you laugh.

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Dad Jokes Easter Gift Book

About Dad Jokes Easter Gift Book:

The Dad Jokes Easter Gift Book is filled with hilarious illustrated Easter jokes and makes the perfect gift whether it’s as an Easter basket stuffer, birthday gift, happy spring gift, get well gift, cheer up gift or just thinking of you gift. It also makes a great gift to yourself. Get your copy of the Ralph Lane Dad Jokes Easter Gift Book today, and you’ll see why bestselling author Ralph Lane is considered the King of Comedy and the Duke of Dad Jokes.

Easter is a time for cute bunnies, decorated eggs and dad jokes. Although Ralph Lane can’t help you with the first two, he’s got the perfect solution for the third one. “Dad Jokes Easter Gift Book” has the funniest jokes and the best joke book illustrations of any other dad joke book. And it makes a great addition to any Easter basket!! People of all ages love to get Ralph Lane’s gift books for the holidays.

Who said Easter has to be all hard-boiled eggs, chocolate bunnies and plastic grass? This Easter, Ralph’s got a whole basket full of Easter jokes, chicken riddles, bunny knock knock jokes and chocolate covered wordplay. We have to warn you, though, do not tell these jokes around the Easter eggs. Ralph’s jokes have been known to crack them up beyond recognition. Oh, and Ralph’s joke books are rather addicting. Once you’ve read one of them, you’ll want to read them all. When that happens, be sure to pick up copies of:

Dad Jokes Gift Book by Ralph Lane
Dad Jokes Christmas Gift Book by Ralph Lane
Dad Jokes Valentine’s Day Gift Book by Ralph Lane
Dad Jokes St. Patrick’s Day Gift

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Everything what men know about women by Lucanus

About Everything what men know about women by Lucanus:

Best funny gift For Man!Do you know what men know about women?You’ll find the answer in this unique book! ;)This book will answer all your questions about woman.This is a blank book. Each page contain the same words “Nothing” – it’s very funny present for man!Any information that you can collect, you can write in this book by yourself.Before you’ll buy this book check if you have sense of humor 😉

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If Dogs Could Talk by Jamie Skeie

About If Dogs Could Talk by Jamie Skeie:

If Dogs Could Talk was inspired by a real living parrot, named Orion. Orion is an African Grey Congo parrot. She has lived with the author, since she was three months old. She was 17 years old during the last year of having her words documented. Some things will be offensive to people. When you’re reading her words..please don’t take anything personal. You are seeing a real look into a parrot’s vocabulary. For scientific reasons…the exact words she said, were documented, chronologically, from current to past.

Jamie Skeie created a children’s book series about Orion also. It’s called, Orion the Star. She is featured in this book series as the superstar parrot, who flies from Orion’s Belt, to save all creatures in distress. The first book in the series is called, Orion the Star: The Pink Dolphin.

Orion learns new sentences everyday. This book was created to help other pet owners…know what their pets might be thinking! Animals are smarter than some people realize. After reading, If Dogs Could Talk, you’ll feel closer to your loved ones You’ll know what your pets would say..if they could talk!

Orion has learned how to speak, without being given treats. She has learned naturally. Just like if you were to move to another country…and pick up on the language, from living there. This book proves an African Grey’s intelligence..is the same as their age, in comparison to a human’s age, and intelligence. Orion, at 17 years old, demonstrates the same cognitive, and speaking abilities as humans, the same age. And, she’s more intelligent than most teenagers!

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Everything what men know about women by Lucanus

About Everything what men know about women by Lucanus:

Best funny gift For Man!Do you know what men know about women?You’ll find the answer in this unique book! ;)This book will answer all your questions about woman.This is a blank book. Each page contain the same words “Nothing” – it’s very funny present for man!Any information that you can collect, you can write in this book by yourself.Before you’ll buy this book check if you have sense of humore 😉

Buy the book, and follow the author on social media:
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