Humor

Grumpy Old Git

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About Grumpy Old Git:

Do you feel lost, isolated and alone?
Does modern life leave you feeling left behind in a state of confusion and bewilderment?
If you or someone you know is struggling with the trials and tribulations of modern manhood then Grumpy Old Git is the book for you.

Clearly you are a competent and intelligent person. You can iron the carpet and hoover the clothes as well as the next man, but if you miss the good old days and find yourself yearning for things to be as they once were, join the brotherhood of the bewildered and fight back.
Fight back against the tidal wave of complicated and unnecessary technology. Shun the shackles of tedious health and safety. Stomp on the plight of the flat pack lifestyle and beat into submission the conventional demand to simply sit in a chair and turn slowly beige.

If your daily life is ruined by militant cyclists, pushy salesmen, pointless bureaucratic nonsense and the poor attitudes and ineptness of others, take solace in the fact that you are not suffering alone.
With a strong cup of tea in a chipped mug and a stiff upper lip we can repel these awful social conventions and once again stand tall among men.

Note that this book should be kept secret and hidden from the guard at all costs. If she finds it you’ll end up in the cooler and will likely lose television privileges for a fortnight.
You have been warned.

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The Hack

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About The Hack:

From the first-person perspective, Max McMillan, a renowned and worshiped author, takes the reader on a journey through his playboy, luxurious, and millions-of-Instagram-follower life. Annoyed by his stardom, and seemingly out for self-destruction, Max’s story is one of constant disaster. However, when he discovers that his best friend, Jack, a poor and unpublished writer, is losing his wife to cancer, he decides to risk it all to help them in this hilarious and satirical romantic comedy.

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N.Degen Small Man of the Big City

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About N.Degen Small Man of the Big City:

FOR FREE!
From Book 1: Do you feel like a squirrel trapped inside a spinning wheel? Then you simply haven’t met Jack Hansen yet! Jack is an alright guy, but he’s always betrayed by his bad luck. His neighbor, Garry, is always hooking up with yet another stunner. His co-worker, Bill, is constantly pursuing a brunette who ignores him. The toady Larson is always fawning and groveling to ingratiate himself to and become his boss’s favorite. Austin next door does not believe in the sincerity of his lover Phil’s feelings for him. And, just perhaps, it is the mysterious young woman from the window across the street from his who is entirely to blame for the fact that Jack’s day has taken an unexpected turn for the worse, and proceeds to go to the dogs?
From Book 2:
Mister Sanchez is absolutely humorless when it comes to the subject of his daughter’s happiness. And if the Hindu taxi driver hadn’t succumbed to his daydreams, then Jack would not have had to trudge home barefooted.
From Book 3:
Never, never approach a young woman on a train. Not even if she does happen to be as charming as hell, especially if she is the one who spoke to you first.

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Alexa’s a Spy and Other Things to Be Ticked off About by Dorothy Rosby

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About Alexa’s a Spy and Other Things to Be Ticked off About by Dorothy Rosby:

“Alexa’s a Spy and Other Things to Be Ticked off About, Humorous Essays on the Hassles of Our Time” is a low-brow look at high-minded living, a good-natured (mostly) rant about some of the challenges we face and some of the annoyances we deal with just because we’re alive and trying to thrive at this moment in history. Part comedic call to arms and part tongue-in-cheek tirade, “Alexa’s a Spy” goes after, among other things, spammers and scammers, clutter and litter, intrusive technology and uncivil discourse. Too much stuff, too much noise, too much to worry about. Not enough patience, not enough kindness, not enough…chocolate? As a syndicated humor columnist, Dorothy Rosby has been ranting for more than 20 years in publications across the West and Midwest. If her latest book doesn’t change the world, and most likely it won’t, we’ll at least go down the tubes together, knowing how really foolish we’re all being.

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Seen and Sometimes Heard: Observations 2018-2020 by Martha Burnett

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Seen and Sometimes Heard: Observations 2018-2020 by Martha Burnett

Seen and Sometimes Heard: Observations 2018-2020 is an homage to the lost art of randomly listening in on other people’s conversations. The book references cartoonist Stan Mack’s comic strip that ran from 1975 to 1995 in the free paper the Village Voice: “Real Life Funnies. All Conversations Guaranteed Overheard 100% Verbatim”. Problem is, random listening today isn’t what it used to be. I tried. I spent a fair bit of time riding buses and subways, wandering around, sitting in coffee shops, hanging out. But social spaces in the 21st Century simply cannot compare to those of the late 20th Century. Then the Pandemic of 2020 hit. Subsequently, what began as a series of illustrated observations of the world around me in 2018 and 2019 ends with personal comments on life lived during Covid-19.

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Donald J Trump is kickin @$$ on the road to Rushmore – A Trump Supporters Bible

About Donald J Trump is kickin @$$ on the road to Rushmore – A Trump Supporters Bible:

The #1 Insurgent book and Insurgent Author that are kickin’ ass in the Culture Wars. Liberals have been ridiculing conservatives for decades, now the gloves come off. The book is not just another political book but drills down deeper into the heart of the American divide…the Culture Wars. This book covers things like Hollywood, the biased and corrupt Media, confused Academia, and comedically and comprehensively dismantles them.

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Ballrooms & Ugly Poodles: Semi-Tales from a Palm Beach Waitress by Katy Schnack

About Ballrooms & Ugly Poodles: Semi-Tales from a Palm Beach Waitress by Katy Schnack:

Ever wonder what goes on behind the scenes of the world’s ritziest hotels?

From dumping coffee on a white silk Gucci gown, witnessing creepy political scandals to fending off crazed, sometimes-naked socialites, one thing is for sure: it is anything but a typical college job.

“Ballrooms and Ugly Poodles: Semi-Tall Tales of a Palm Beach Waitress” is a collection of humorous stories inspired by the author’s adventures working at a five-diamond historic hotel on the shores of Palm Beach, Florida – a far cry from her humble Midwestern upbringing. “Ballrooms and Ugly Poodles” paints a hilarious picture of what it is like serving some of America’s richest and most powerful, all while wearing Kmart loafers and a used polyester tuxedo. A true behind-the-scenes look at the glitz and glamour of Palm Beach, this book may make you pee with laughter, while also providing a unique and rarely seen perspective of the excessively wealthy. But mostly just make you pee with laughter.

If you are a fan of books like “Waiter Rant” and “Heads in Beds,” are looking for a great beach read or enjoy funny books in general, be sure to check out “Ballrooms and Ugly Poodles.”

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Should You Be Allowed to Pilot a Motor Vehicle?

About Should You Be Allowed to Pilot a Motor Vehicle?:

This is a book all about you. By spending precious minutes of your life taking these five quizzes you will learn:

Should You Be Allowed to Pilot a Motor Vehicle? (Hint: If you can’t read type this small, you shouldn’t.)
What Is Your Ideal Hobby? (No, sleeping is not a hobby. It’s a lifestyle choice.)
Are You Too Competitive? (After a rousing game of chess that table doesn’t throw itself.)
Do You Have a Sense of Humour? (Only 78% of people do.)
What Is Your Spirit Animal? (And can it eat you?)

You should come away from this book having answered these questions and learned something about yourself, and your place in the world. And then you can go back to doing whatever you were doing before you read this book.

15 minute short read – Questionable Quizzes

#1 Should You Be Allowed to Pilot a Motor Vehicle?
#2 Are You a Superhero?
#3 What Colour Is Your Personality?
#4 Does Your DIY Require Professional Help?
#5 Will You Survive a Safari?
#6 Which of Robin Hood’s Merry Men Are You?

“I wish I had published them. But we don’t actually publish quizzes here.” – editor, The Worldview from My Chair

“A book I would read, if I had 15 minutes.” – Edgar Hemingway

“A tour de force . . . is an accomplishment achieved with impressive skill.” – The Dictionary

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A Book About Bob

About A Book About Bob:

This is a book about Bob. That’s really all you need to know as almost every page within this book is about Bob. Bob, is a lovable overweight man with his mind constantly on food. He wakes up one day to accidentally become a ******. I would like to tell you what he becomes, but if I told you he was a secret agent/spy then it would no longer be a secret. As the story unfolds, things get more complicated and his full potential is unleashed upon humankind. This is a story of romance, scantily clad grannies, overeating, things that go “bang!” and a lot of nonsensical ramblings. Readers should be warned that the story involves much gibberish and twoddlesnaps, a fair amount of bumble harnessing and several accounts of Moo. The amount of sheer lunacy within the pages of this book are known to leave lasting mental scars on its readers and we take no responsibility for any of it unless we want to. Overall this is a book about things, happenings, occurrences and stuff. More than anything else, however, this is a Book About Bob! Enjoy!

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The Diarrhea Diaries

About The Diarrhea Diaries:

Whether you follow Twitter or not, you would have to be living on another planet not to be aware of President Trump’s use of Twitter. It has attracted worldwide attention. Almost daily he uses Twitter to comment about politicians, celebrities as well as official government announcements that often described as bitter, enraged, heated, chafed, irate, sullen and choleric. From his official declaration of candidacy in June 2015 through the first two-and-a-half years of his presidency, he has tweeted over 17,000 times. The 34 chapters in this book contain 480 of those Tweets and are presented word-for-word as Mr. Trump wrote them. Misspellings and punctuation errors are Mr. Trumps. Tweets longer than 280 characters are those continued in a second or third Tweet and combined here. Mr. Trump targeted many of the same individuals often retweeting an existing Tweet by changing a pejorative word (s) to describe an individual along with other key words to make his point. These Tweets have been organized to confirm this pattern. Some will find them amusing, others may be dismayed that they were written by the President of the United States. To be sure, we live in interesting political times.

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Kim Pees, Sheryl Flees, and Mary Buys a Blender

About Kim Pees, Sheryl Flees, and Mary Buys a Blender:

A lone cross-dresser endures trials and tribulations in a world of predatory cannibals hungering for the flesh of the innocent. An exhausted waitress is liberated from bondage with a powerful pair of breast implants. A warmhearted stoner quenches his thirst in the moonlit woods.

Someone’s nipple gets burned pretty bad at some point, but they’re totally into it. There’s an Injury Law Attorney that gets up to some pretty rotten stuff. But wait, there’s more!

A good Christian mother commits an unforgivable sin and descends into a life of lust and commodity fetishism. A generously endowed theology major sprays a lot of something on someone. A stripper puts her butth… Wait, no spoilers!

A divorced guy moves to New Jersey. Some people die.

Somewhere drowning beneath gallons of bodily fluid is a plot about love, friendship, and the connection everyone shares with… child-murdering cannibals?

Warning: Vulgar, violent, explicit, Floridian, etc.

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VEGAN? NO, CHEMO by Deborah Marra

About VEGAN? NO, CHEMO by Deborah Marra:

When cancer enters into everyday life and usettles it, there are only two options: to give up or to fight. This book, ironic and full of love for life, comes from the desire to win against this illness, as well as to show that even a hard experience can become an occasion for redemption.

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Girth by Alex Henderson

About Girth by Alex Henderson:

Size matters. Or at least it does to Ed, nit-picking quantity surveyor and captain of his local pub football team who has faked a business trip abroad to get some cheap plastic surgery.

Ed intends to be even more of a man upon his return. But has he managed to keep this as secret as he thinks? Will this really be such a wonderful surprise for Fiona on their wedding night? And just who is this operation for anyway?

Alex Henderson’s outrageous comedy debut shows what it means to be a man with a small problem that just got bigger.

Much bigger!

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Circle It, The Office Facts, Word Search, Puzzle Book

About Circle It, The Office Facts, Word Search, Puzzle Book:

“Circle It” word search books read like a book and are full of interesting facts, the bold words within the text can be found in the word search puzzle on the opposite page. Typical word searches are just dull lists of words, “Circle It” word search books read like a book and are full of interesting facts. Enjoy learning interesting facts about one of the most succesful television series of all time – The Office

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If I Were a Dictator

About If I Were a Dictator:

Tired of politics as usual? Feeling pressured to take sides? Exhausted trying to figure out who you need to unfriend today? Author Lisa Orban comes to the rescue using humor, sarcasm, and a little bit of math to engage readers with a collaborative approach to solving our problems as a society united, rather than one resigned to remain in our current fractured state. Nor does the author require absolute agreement on everything presented during the course of the book, instead readers are encouraged to find the compromise in between the disagreements (or throw the book around the room if it makes you feel better).

Challenging the situation normal, all f**cked up narrative, the author encourages readers to find their common ground. We all want quality education for our children, good roads to drive on, safe water and food, accessible medicine and healthcare, clean cities, upward mobility, and a secure life for ourselves and our family. If I were Dictator takes away the Us vs. Them in these agreed upon needs of our country and presents a blueprint to begin doing just that.

Join the Revolution!

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How to Kill in Comedy by Steve North the Comedy Coach

About How to Kill in Comedy by Steve North the Comedy Coach:

Whether you want to work as a stand-up comedian or to be funnier in speaking or socially, or understand how the great comedy stars do it; Steve North the Comedy Coach (voted #1 Comedy Coach USA) explains how to create your own unique comedic character, the twenty best joke-writing formulas to get great material, and then Steve gives you all the tricks of the trade to put it all together. For pros or hobbyists.

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The Adventures of G Man by Boris Wang

About The Adventures of G Man by Boris Wang:

Say hello to G Man – Beaver City’s newest superhero.

When a bungled science experiment endows Arthur Pinkerton with super powers – and a giant phallus – he becomes the unlikely champion of the defenseless. But will he be able to sustain his erection long enough to rid the city of its criminal underclass? And will he be able to defeat the feared crime boss, Carmelita Cameltoe, or will it all end in a premature capitulation?

Read this exciting new book to find out!

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Adventures of the Novel Coronavirus: Going Viral

About Adventures of the Novel Coronavirus: Going Viral:

This humorous adventure story and its illustrations will make you laugh through these trying times. It personifies the novel coronavirus as it travels the world. It shows the ‘human condition’ in both human and virus characters, as ego and compassion well up in dramas that unfold while viruses race to all corners of the earth. Their mode of travel? The human host! The viruses learn about the perils of an unsustainable lifestyle and the parallels between environmental problems and their own finite resources. Eventually, they aim to stop a ‘terrorist’ from creating a vaccine that could lead to their extinction. This novella shows you the world through the eyes of the Novel Coronavirus, giving you a hilarious perspective of our new, Corona-induced idiosyncrasies.

“We’ve been inundated with news, both serious and scary. Offering such a novel perspective on this issue is refreshing! I think this story is direly needed!” — The Corona Times

On a more serious note, this is a threatening pandemic. We are suffering tragedy after tragedy: the loss of lives, careers and freedom all over the world. Let us remember during these times what is truly important: connection, understanding, patience, caring, love and laughter. I apologize if this novella brings hurt to anyone who bears the weight of the plight we are in; I wish for it to bring laughter and lightness during hard times while also sparking an acknowledgment of the stresses caused by this pandemic, the flaws in the human condition and the way in which we treat most life on earth — with self-interest for its utility. Let us all be inspired to care for one another, treat ourselves and all others with respect and compassion and to seek to add beauty to our precious world.

We are living in a new paradigm. We need support and to support each other. We need to process what is happening to us and in the world beyond us.

Don’t miss these sections at the end of the novella:

1. Hygiene Routine: This novella has a hygiene section that offers a safe routine for going to the grocery store. It gives valuable tips on how to stay clean. It’s not easy to suddenly have dangerous, invisible ‘germs’ possibly contaminating every part of our world! So, it couldn’t hurt to offer tips about how to avoid contamination.

2. Interviews: The novella includes anonymous interviews about ‘How the Pandemic has Affected People’s Lives.’ Hopefully, it will help people feel less isolated as they gain insight into what others are experiencing. Perhaps the interviews can give a larger perspective, so we know that we are not alone in what we are experiencing.

Enjoy some Novel Coronavirus humor to keep Covid-19 from keeping you down!

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Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson

About Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson:

Things aren’t going so well for elderly widower Mitch.
His daughter thinks he’s rushed himself into a residential dementia centre before he becomes a burden upon her. In truth he’s more worried that if he doesn’t lock himself away then the secrets of his past will get out.
The care home could be a whole lot nicer, but it’s all he can afford and, anyway, Mitch is determined. He’s sold his house and signed his freedom away. Let them take care of him for the muddled remainder of his days.
Except that he’s not really in need of a place like this yet. And far worse – his former best friend and old band mate Ray is already here.
The last person he’d ever want to be trapped with.
Especially since the secrets are about him.
With a cast of vivid characters who will shock and delight in equal measure, Alex Henderson’s latest is a poignant and darkly hilarious tale of friendship, regret and the need to squeeze the juice out of every day we’re given.

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The Hack

About The Hack:

From the first-person perspective, Max McMillan, a renowned and worshiped author, takes the reader on a journey through his playboy, luxurious, and millions-of-Instagram-follower life. Annoyed by his stardom, and seemingly out for self-destruction, Max’s story is one of constant disaster. However, when he discovers that his best friend, Jack, a poor and unpublished writer, is losing his wife to cancer, he decides to risk it all to help them in this hilarious and satirical romantic comedy.

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