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The Book Of Failures by Amy Lyle

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The Book Of Failures by Amy Lyle

You will feel 20-32% better about your own life after reading The Book of Failures.

The book has been featured in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Northside Women magazine, Points North magazine, My Forsyth magazine, Alpharetta Life, 400 Life, Forsyth County News, and on morning shows Atlanta and Company and The Kelly Show and Focus Atlanta.

Reviews:
“THE FUNNIEST, WITTIEST, AND MOST RELATABLE BOOK A GIRL COULD READ.” -A. Evers of Blueline Scripture- “Don’t Read While Drinking (Your coffee, wine, etc. will shoot through your nose from laughing.)” – R. Johnson of Ivy Owl Reviews- “You will definitely appreciate your own family dysfunction as you read through Amy’s ‘Book of Failures.’ Can’t wait to see more.” -S. Pacey Northside Woman Magazine- “Delight in Amy Lyle’s 45 years of missteps, inadequacies and faux pas. You may appreciate your own dysfunction a little more as you take a journey through Amy’s debacles including: “I Was Not Talking to You,” where Amy mistakes a handsome man waving at her as a potential suitor but in reality, he was only trying to inform her that her belt was dragging on the freeway and “In the Neighborhood,” where members of a cult moving in concurred with a suspicious decline in the cat population. You will relish the chapters entitled “Calls from Sharon,” where Amy’s best friend rants about her kids not getting a fair shot because public schools are ‘so political,’ as her OB/GYN reported her vagina was ‘too clean’ and how the most eligible bachelor from 1982 married a whore. Enjoy “I’m Going to Kill You,” where Amy compares her lack of sleep from her husband’s snoring to CIA agents extracting secrets from a POW.”

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Single.Taken.Cursed by Nicki Bell

About Single.Taken.Cursed by Nicki Bell

Heard enough happily ever afters? In Single. Taken. Cursed. Scottish comedy writer Nicki Bell reveals some of her worst dating exploits. From a guy impersonating Zac Efron to another pretending to be a farm animal, you’ll discover the bizarre and exhausting side of single life.
As told in stories like ‘The MLM Tool’ and ‘Tricky Vicky’, this account of contemporary dating is evidence that it can indeed always be worse.
Nicki Bell’s brutally honest collection of short stories features her trademark sarcasm and is perfect for fans of both Sophie Kinsella and Dolly Alderton.

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The Beasts of Success

About The Beasts of Success

In this dog-eat-dog world, three friends find themselves getting nowhere in their careers despite their education and work skills. They decide to make their own rules to the game of life and play dirty to get ahead. Each of them concoct schemes to sabotage colleagues and clear the path for their swift advancement.
Through a journey of deception and personal discovery, they find that life at the top isn’t what they imagined it would be. All the while, they’re not aware that they’re part of a much larger game being played by a world-controlling group that doesn’t have their best interests in mind. And with a physical manifestation of karma on the loose, their futures are uncertain.
In this fast-paced, entertaining ride, readers will confront a cache of arcane truth and thought-provoking situations by means of satire, dark humor, and zany humor. The Beasts of Success lifts the veil on a hidden world of which few are aware. How far down the rabbit hole are you willing to go?

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Pianist in a Bordello by Mike C. Erickson

Pianist in a Bordello by Mike C. Erickson

About Pianist in a Bordello

What would happen if a politician decided to tell the truth—the whole truth? Richard Youngblood, aspiring Congressman, is about to find out. He’s running on a platform of honesty and transparency—and against the advice of his friends and advisers he’s decided to start with himself. His autobiography will lay his entire life bare before voters just days before the election.And what a life he’s had. Born in a commune and named Richard Milhous Nixon Youngblood as an angry shot at his absent father, Richard grows up in the spotlight, the son of an enigmatic fugitive and the grandson of a Republican senator. He’s kidnapped and rescued, kicked out of college for a prank involving turkeys, arrested in Hawaii while trying to deliver secrets to the CIA…Dick Nixon Youngblood’s ready to tell all. He’ll even tell his readers about the Amandas—three women who share a name but not much else, and who each have helped shape and define the man he’s become. Are voters really ready for the whole truth?Are you?Pianist in a Bordello is a hilarious political romp through the last four decades of American history, from a narrator who is full of surprises.

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Let’s Swap Legs by George Fratton

About Let’s Swap Legs by George Fratton

A scientist comes up with an innovative way to bring his freshly murdered wife back to life. A disgruntled bride takes a startling course of revenge upon her daredevil husband, who drives blindfold through the streets of Cairo for a bet. A lecturer walks the length of the Eurotunnel in search of a toilet. A man pushes his father down the Valley of Kings in the hope that the old man will join Tot Ankh Amoun and the rest. The light-hearted essays on language offer a respite from the blood-and-guts element of this collection of short stories.

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Boulong’s Cheese By Ricky Ginsburg

About Boulong’s Cheese By Ricky Ginsburg

FREE on Kindle Unlimited!!

The introduction of a successful vaccine against Covid has produced the unintended side effect of rendering all gunpowder in the world inert. Every weapon from a six-shooter to an atom bomb is now useless. However, on a fifty-seven-acre island in the middle of the Doubs River that divides France and Switzerland, a dairy farmer’s prized cheese spread has gone into short supply and the world is about to go to war over its loss.

“Boulong’s Cheese” is spitfire humor, biting satire, and just what the world needs now that the end of the pandemic is in sight. It pits the Queen of England against the new, bald President of the United States, and gives the Pope a way out of an embarrassing video. All the while, Boulong, the producer of the world’s most desired dairy products, tries to deal with his pregnant girlfriend and missing son.

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Heart of Swine

About Heart of Swine

“The last swine left on Earth, Captain Grunter, is on a quest for justice.
With the support of his improbable companions, he delves into the inescapable nightmares of a late-capitalist mediascape characterised by sensationalised poverty, fetish consumerism and glamourised environmental catastrophes.
Through the lies and riddles of the villains he faces, the pig superhero begins his philosophical journey of what it means to be more-than-bacon.”

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I don’t want that in my ice cream

About I don’t want that in my ice cream

Sophie, ten (but she might be eight and a half or nine and three-quarters) puts on her mummy’s shoes and clip-clops into disaster and guilt. When her ‘best-est’ friend Jessica is on holiday, Sophie is so desperate for someone to play with that she ends up at the home of the weirdest girl in her school, who has a morbid interest in funerals… for soft toys.
As for their invented language, not only do Sophie and her ‘best-est’ friend understand it, but so do sinister beings from elsewhere in the universe.
After a hard day at school, she is horrified to be lectured at by complete strangers on subjects ranging from cinema to doggie poo. She finds herself swimming in a cup of weak tea with a toad, travelling back in time to WWII, and featuring in a bizarre documentary.
Step into the Kafkaesque and weird world of Sophie, her cantankerous mother and her doting daddy.

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…But It’s Okay If I Do It: True Confessions of an Unintentional A$$HOLE by Shirley Laffa

About …But It’s Okay If I Do It: True Confessions of an Unintentional A$$HOLE by Shirley Laffa

…But It’s Okay If I Do It: True Confessions of an Unintentional A$$HOLE is a light-hearted look about gaining valuable insights when coping with a variety of relatable, yet sometimes absurd real-life scenarios.

Shirley Laffa doesn’t mean to be an A$$HOLE. But hypocritically tells herself it’s okay if SHE does it, in a pinch. Like after failing to recognize a celebrity guest at a work event or getting caught naked by her potential mother-in-law. This book will strike a chord with every woman who tries to be perfect in an imperfect world.

While attempting to become a ballerina/waiting tables and then enduring cubicle hell, Shirley learns essential lessons. Compounded by the pitfalls of demanding parents, she agonizes with obsessive worries and second-guessing herself. As a recovering people pleasing addict and chronic sufferer of foot-in-mouth disease, hilarious laugh out loud antics showcase Shirley’s own brand of offbeat self-help and unique humour.

We can all relate to embarrassing ourselves; struggling with relentless approval seeking; nagging obsessions about weight; relationships; and workplace tribulations. But taking the opportunity to gain collective wisdom from universal mistakes will lead you to ultimately realize we’re all in this together, and need to be kinder to ourselves, and to each other.

Giddy up for a guilty pleasure ride on an amusing cringe-worthy tour. You’ll be sure to depart feeling lighter, wiser and more in charge of your own destiny!

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Cancelled by Steve Taite

About Cancelled by Steve Taite

It was almost 10 a.m. when a snoring Dinah Soares was harshly woken and taken out of her cell before being offered her first espresso of the day or even an almond croissant. As she left she noticed that the lady who had shared her cell looked a lot less like Rhianna than she had thought.

What could link a popular talk show host with an incredibly ugly dog, the inventor of musical condoms, an ex-stripper turned nurse, a family of mormons, world war three and countless Elvises?

Dinah Soares’ talk show is suddenly cancelled, which calls for a drink, or several in her case. After being arrested for disturbing the peace at an affluent California cemetery, Dinah faces prison or six weeks at Horny Meadows, an exclusive rehab center.

Enrolled in the Transitional Rehabilitation and Self Help program (T.R.A.S.H), Dinah soon discovers that the cancellation of her talk show has put into motion a series of events that even Nostradamus couldn’t have foreseen. Now it is up to her and a handful of new found colleagues to save the world from total destruction, not to mention Elvis.

The end of the world is no laughing matter, but then again….

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These Stories Are True… I S#!+ You Not: A Humorous Look at Online Dating for the Unsuspecting Older Human by Catherine R. Berra

About These Stories Are True… I S#!+ You Not: A Humorous Look at Online Dating for the Unsuspecting Older Human by Catherine R. Berra

Online dating is daunting at any stage of life and the escapades seem to never end! Come along on a journey that will take you through stories of ridiculousness, confusion, bewilderment and hilarity! Join Catherine as she reflects on a comical collection of dating anecdotes, experiences, and unbelievably amusing misadventures as she and other brave souls navigate their way through cyberspace in a search for modern-day love.
Relish in Catherine’s initial optimistic attitude and venture along as she describes some of the most preposterous dates one could imagine. Laugh out loud at her expense as she describes over ten years of uproarious encounters that leave her dumbfounded but also braced with pleasant perseverance to tolerate more. Peek around the corner of disbelief as she describes her giggle-inducing quest for that one true connection.
With a sense of humor and an eventual understanding that we humans are all quite muddled, lovely, messy, confused, and imperfect, these stories are for anyone who has ever attempted to venture out into the zany world of online dating.

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Hexed in Texas by Kathy Burford

About Hexed in Texas by Kathy Burford

When a Russian witch clashes with the capitalist heir of a voodoo queen, anything can happen!

Baba Yaga steps through her magic mirror. The CEO of Laveau Pharmaceuticals makes more conventional travel plans. But why are they headed for Texas?

Chaotic magic leaking from Alamo excavations has triggered an improbable event, drawing the attention of these two unlikely rivals.

Book 1 of the Baba Yaga Chronicles, in which she and her sisters clash with the modern world, with alarming and comical results.

If you like lighthearted fantasy with offbeat humor, clever plot twists, and quirky characters, you’ll love the Baba Yaga Chronicles!

Only 99 cents February 8 through February 12.

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Dog Days with Aggie and Pepper

About Dog Days with Aggie and Pepper

I have now self-published two books about my two rescue dogs, Aggie and Pepper, and I am in the process of putting the finishing touches on a third one. The newest one out now is called “Dog Days with Aggie and Pepper” and has been out for a week or so. Admittedly, this thing is an exercise in ego fulfillment – a little bit, anyway – but I wanted to put the two dogs in humorous situations, throw in a little adventure and excitement, and add a couple of interesting characters and see what happens. In this book, Aggie and Pepper run into an alligator with an attitude, a wild pig with anger issues, a hungry eagle, a shark looking for a meal and an African lion. That’s an awful lot for two little rescue dogs to take on, but it’s fun to watch what they do. I even added some cats named Sagittarius and Cornflake, as well as two fascinating stories about Joan and Jett, my son’s two rescue dogs. Yep, this book has it all!

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Bombing In Bingham

About Bombing In Bingham

It seems to never be a dull day in the life of rookie police officer Paul Jamison!

Paul always wanted to be a police officer. His first step on the path to reaching that goal involved the role he played in stopping “The Great Cherry Bomb Attack” at his elementary school when he was in the fifth grade. Now, at long last, his dream was coming true. He was joining the ranks of the City of Bingham’s elite Police Department.

He knew he would have to work his way up in the ranks at the department. And he was more than ready to do just that. His adventures take him from solving “The Great Convenience Store Robbery” of a couple of candy bars and soda pop to piecing together evidence involving bombings that begin to rock the city.

Along the way he encounters a feisty old woman who thinks she’s saving gas by not turning on her headlights after dark to teenagers who call 911 over a dispute of what to watch on television.

But he knows, it’s all part of the job. And he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

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The MisreadBible: Gospel by J. R. Eldridge

About The MisreadBible: Gospel by J. R. Eldridge

In first century Galilee, a humble carpenter is given some rather unusual news: he is the Son of God! Leaving his home, family, and carpentry business, Jesus of Nazareth travels to Peraea to learn the ways of the Dunker from his barmy hermit cousin John, who has a penchant for plunging people into water.

Returning to Galilee, he calls together a posse of twelve random dudes and begins his father’s mission to preach the Kingdom of God (whatever that means). Along the way, he heals the sick, casts out demons, gives bizarre ranting sermons, and amasses a following. But little does he know that a much bigger destiny awaits him…

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Would You Rather Valentine’s Day Edition

About Would You Rather Valentine’s Day Edition

Are you looking for a Single Book which will double your smiles, triple your laughter, and quadruple your precious family time this Valentine’s Day? If so, keep reading…

Quality family time is undoubtedly unique and precious. No monetary value can be attached to it. Be it a family get-together, friends reunion, or nice long drive, there is no better way to spend this quality time than playing “Would You rather…”

“Would You Rather…” is a fun and interactive game for the entire family. It includes silly, hilarious, and thought-provoking questions that tickle the mind and lead to funny conversations. It is a perfect way to educate kids together by having fun. It stimulates their mind, exercises their imagination, and teaches them to defend their choices and think critically.

This Would You Rather – Valentine’s Day Edition book includes…
– Hours of Clean and family-friendly fun and honor: The 200+ unique and silly questions are more than enough to guarantee hours of giggles for the entire family.
– Endless Laughter’s together: The great variety of questions will cause many side effects, such as accidental giggles and Inextinguishable laughter.
– Endless memories: This valentines day will be a memory to cherish for the whole family

The best part of the Would You Rather – Valentine’s Day Edition game is that everyone is a winner. No grumpy looser’s.
It is a safe game with loads of fun.

If you want to start having fun and making endless memories, then scroll up and click add to cart button to order your copy now!
Remember, You Snooze, you Lose.

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Gang of Fangs

About Gang of Fangs

Game of Fangs is a new stand-alone novel in the Fat Vampire universe, from Johnny B. Truant, best-selling author of Invasion, Fat Vampire, and The Inevitable.

When Nora, Orlo, Robert, Amelie, Jaden, Rohit, and Brody form a seven-person team of live-action-role-players to enter a massive three-day Vampire LARP tournament, they have no idea two real vampires will be in the mix, on a mission of their own.

As the gamers play, gathering points and moving upwards through the floors of the convention center, the vampires turn contestants, searching for a lost descendant, and the game gets gruesome and increasingly deadly.

Will amateur vampire hunters be able to sort out the bloody truth from the role-playing fiction and save the still-living from the more-than-dead?

Perfect for fans of Rick Gualtieri’s Tome of Bill or Drew Hayes’ Fred the Vampire Accountant, Game of Fangs tells the story of what happens when a group of vampire-hunting gamers encounters real vampires. Get your copy today!

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The Weighing Of The Heart by Andrew Marc Rowe

About The Weighing Of The Heart by Andrew Marc Rowe

I Went To The Apocalypse And All I Got Was This Codpiece

Hey, it’s me, your pal Thoth, ibis-headed ancient Egyptian god of writing and magic. Like any good narrator, I’m actually a part of this story. I’ve been infatuated with the bovine goddess Hathor since I can remember. The problem is, she wants nothing to do with me and my birdy self. I have my own way of dealing with rejection, but can you believe my brother Set is a frustrated incel who takes out his rage on the world? He’s bent on the destruction of humanity! He even enlists the help of ancient mummified pharaoh Djet to set off a plague that reflects the depravity of his perverted soul…

Then there’s Akins, nerdy human Scribe living in Thebes who finds himself caught in the middle of all of this. A man after my own heart, he’s spent his life devoted to his craft and suddenly Set’s insanity turns his world inside and out. He’s gotta put up or… well, not shut up. More like he’s gotta put up or die. Same goes for Water Lily, apprentice to the renowned Apothecary Safiya. She just wants to learn her trade in peace. But instead of customers and mortars and pestles, the former street rat finds herself to be the last bastion of hope in the struggle for the very world!

No pressure!

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Abundantly Attractive

About Abundantly Attractive

Gay Romantic Comedy ♥ Christmas Read
NEW RELEASE $0.99/£0.99
Available on Kindle Unlimited

How much is love truly worth?

Liam Perry dreams of finding a rich wife so he can lounge at the poolside, sipping cocktails and doing what he’s good at—looking seductive.

And a chance collision with a handsome vet leaves Liam not totally against the idea of the future Mrs Perry being a rich Mr Perry. But a complication arises in his new barman job when his seductive charms hook the eye of the vet’s boyfriend—big fish and wealthy businessman Lawrence Paul. A dark-haired Casanova who’s keen to woo his pants off with champagne and sweet flattery.

Does money solve problems or cause bigger problems?

With an empty fridge, and rent to pay, Liam can’t afford to lose another job.

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We’re All A Mess, It’s OK by Amy Lyle

We’re All A Mess, It’s OK by Amy Lyle

These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It’s like “Chicken Soup for the Soul” if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Kirby, and Jenny Lawson, you will love “We’re All A Mess. It’s OK.” Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people to cheer them up.

The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we’re all a mess, it’s OK.

The number one best-selling author of “The Amy Binegar-Kimmes-Lyle Book Of Failures” brings you her newest gem, “We’re All A Mess. It’s OK.” Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks, and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. A Good reads Top 10 Best Humor pick!
Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they’re folly. “We’re All A Mess. It’s OK” captures life’s most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It’s filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect.

The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It’s an anthology of real-life disasters.

You’ll enjoy, “You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else” which depicts Dane Levent’s severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog.

And… “He’s Worth the Wait” by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law’s long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com.

And… “Saying ‘I’m Sorry’ Will Not Fix This Situation” by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner’s lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture.

And… Follow along with Traci Jo’s daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe.

And… Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler’s need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she’s away.

And… Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they’re even, and then one of each color in order until they’re gone.

These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It’s like “Chicken Soup for the Soul” if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Kirby, and Jenny Lawson, you will love “We’re All A Mess. It’s OK.” Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up.

The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we’re all a mess, it’s OK.

Buy the book, and follow the author on social media:

Learn more about the writer. Visit the Author’s Website.

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